All You Need is Love

I bet you can remember the moment you knew you were expecting a baby.  There was so much excitement!!  Then when your baby was born, you were convinced that this baby was the most special baby in the world.  Destined for greatness.  Each milestone was a celebration.  The first smile.  The first steps.  The first day of school.  

But what happened in the years since then.  And who is this stranger that is living in your house.  Well, that my friends, is your little baby.  The one that still needs you.  The one that needs the adults that say they love them to just love them better.  

Sean Covey, in his book, "The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make, surveyed hundreds of teens.  This is what's teens worry about the most:

What Teens Worry About the Most

In an article published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints entitled, "Getting Teens to Talk," it says this "The Savior gave His disciples a commandment to “love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12). This includes loving our teens. Start by looking for the good in them. Tell them often what you appreciate about them. Be authentic. These sincere statements of appreciation and praise will build confidence, strengthen relationships, and foster more open conversations. Make your motto: “Love more.”"  But I say LOVE BETTER.  

• You can love better spending more time with your teen.  Elder Dieter Uchtdorf said that love is spelled T I M E.  
• You can love better by being positive.  
• You can love better by showing empathy. Your kids don't really want you to solve all their problems.  Ok, maybe they do.  But they really don't.  Solving their own problems is good for them. Just be close by.  Mourn with them, give comfort but be careful not to solve their problems if they are able to work through it on their own.
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When You've Got Trouble, I've Got Trouble Too by Liz Longley

You've been kicking in your sleep

Tossing and turning relentlessly
And i know you'd be a-lyin'
When you told me you were fine

You've been screaming in your head
Swallowing the words that I know you would have said
If you would just breathe.

Oh my heart is tangled all around you,
When you've got trouble I've got trouble too.
Oh my life is arm in arm with you
When you've got trouble I've got trouble too.

So I'm wise what do you need
I kiss you awake when you've had a bad dream
And I tell you a story make it up as I go,
Or I sing you a song that I know that you know.

It goes my heart is tangled all around you,
When you've got trouble I've got trouble too.
Oh my life is arm in arm with you

When you got trouble I've got…  

• You can love better by accepting that your teen has their own agency.  That's a tough one for parents because we know best, am I right?  We won't to avoid any pain by errors they may make.  We want to keep best influences out of our children's lives.  Agency is a gift we were all born with.  It is a gift from God.  "To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character" Howard W. Hunter
• You can love better by having a sense of humor with your teen.  Make a Tic Tok video with them.  You will be the coolest parent in town.

In an "All In" podcast episode, Justin Clouson spoke about "How Jesus Might Parent."  He told the following:

Scripture regarding "unrighteous dominion": D&C Section 121

29 For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of acontention is not of me, but is of the bdevil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another (3 Nephi 11:29)

“And if those children are unresponsive, maybe you can’t teach them yet, but you can love them. And if you love them today, maybe you can teach them tomorrow" (Jeffrey R. Holland, "Teaching and Learning in the Church," June 2007).

“Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes" (Joseph B. Wirthlin, "The Virtue of Kindness," April 2005).

“But,” you ask, “what if people are rude?”

Love them.

“If they are obnoxious?”

Love them.

“But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?”

Love them.

“Wayward?”

The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them."

 (Joseph B. Wirthlin, "The Virtue of Kindness," April 2005).

"17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us acheerfully bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed" (D&C 123:17).